In light of recent Child Sexual Abuse allegations in our community, FCCAP has put together information to assist and inform parents, guardians, and caregivers on how to approach a child’s disclosure of sexual abuse.

What is Disclosure?

 Disclosure is when a child tells another person that he or she has been sexually abused. Disclosure can be a scary and difficult process for children. Some children who have been sexually abused may take weeks, months, or even years to fully reveal what was done to them. Many children never tell anyone about the abuse.

In general:

• Girls are more likely to disclose than boys
• School-aged children tend to tell a caregiver
• Adolescents are more likely to tell friends
• Very young children tend to accidentally reveal abuse, because they don’t have as much understanding of what occurred or the words to explain it

Children are often reluctant to tell about being sexually abused. Some reasons for this reluctance may be:

• Fear that the abuser may hurt them or their families
• Fear that they will not be believed, or will be blamed and get in trouble
• Worry that their parents will be upset or angry
• Fear that disclosing will disrupt the family, especially if the perpetrator is a family member or friend
• Fear that if they tell they will be taken away and separated from their family

Disclosure can be particularly difficult for younger children who have limited language and developmental abilities. If the child does not understand that the abuse was wrong, this may also lead the child not to tell.

What should I do if I suspect my child has been sexually abused?  

If you think your child may have been sexually abused, it is okay to talk to your child about it. You may first want to access some resources to learn more about child sexual abuse, such as The National Child Traumatic Stress Network’s Child Sexual Abuse Fact Sheet at http://www.nctsn.org/nccts/asset.

It is important to remain calm in speaking to children who may have been sexually abused. You can ask children directly if anyone has touched their bodies in a way that they did not like or has forced them to do things that they did not want to do. If you are concerned about talking to your child about abuse, you might want to seek help from your child’s pediatrician or a mental health provider who is knowledgeable about the dynamics of child sexual abuse.

What should I do if my child discloses sexual abuse?

Your reaction to the disclosure will have a big effect on how your child deals with the trauma of sexual abuse. Children whose parents/caregivers are supportive heal more quickly from the abuse.

To be supportive, it is important to:

• Stay calm. Hearing that your child has been abused can bring up powerful emotions, but if you become upset, angry, or out of control, this will only make it more difficult for your child to disclose.
• Believe your child, and let your child know that he or she is not to blame for what happened. Praise your child for being brave and for telling about the sexual abuse.
• Protect your child by getting him or her away from the abuser and immediately reporting the abuse to local authorities.
• Get help. In addition to getting medical care to address any physical damage your child may have suffered (including sexually transmitted diseases), it is important that your child have an opportunity to talk with a mental health professional who specializes in child sexual abuse. Therapy has been shown to successfully reduce distress in families and the effects of sexual abuse on children.
• Reassure your child that he or she is loved, accepted and an important family member. Don’t make promises you can’t keep (such as saying you won’t tell anyone about the abuse), but let your child know that you will do everything in your power to protect him or her from harm.

If you are not sure who to contact, call FCCAP at (559) 268-1118, or for   immediate help, call 911, the police            or CPS at (559) 255-8320.

The idea that something like this could happen to my child is completely overwhelming. What can I do to cope with my own feelings? 

If you suspect that your child has been abused, try to get support by talking to someone else before talking to your child about the sexual abuse. If your child has already disclosed the abuse, hearing the details may be profoundly upsetting to you; particularly if the abuser is someone you know and thought you could trust.

 Your feelings may range from denial, anger, and sadness, to frustration and helplessness. If you yourself are a survivor of child sexual abuse, the discovery that your child has been abused may also bring up your own painful and unresolved feelings and memories. Getting help for yourself is an important part of being able to get help and support for your child.

 Online Resources

(For more information on such “intrafamilial” sexual abuse, see the National Child Traumatic Stress Network’s factsheet, Coping with the Shock of Intrafamilial Sexual Abuse: Information for Parents and Caregivers, available at http://nctsn.org/nctsn assets/pdfs/caring/  intrafamilialabuse.pdf.

 You can contact the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-HOPE or http://www.rainn.org/ for help finding support in your area.

The U.S. Department of Justice’s Office for Victims of Crime(http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/  ovc/) has resources and a web forum to communicate with others on topics such as child abuse, victim’s rights, court preparation, and more.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network’s Child Sexual Abuse Fact Sheet at http://www.nctsn.org/nccts/asset.

Talk About Abuse to Liberate Kids at http://www.taalk.org/

Support Child Abuse Prevention . . . .  because it shouldn’t hurt to be a child.